Tzivia Gover, Certified Dream Therapist, is here to guide you through your dreams. Beyond Freud, beyond Jung, this is a whole new perspective. Tzivia is the author of several books, her latest “Joy In Every Moment” is fresh off the press.
What’s your purpose? Ask your dreams!
by Tzivia Gover, Certified Dream Therapist
One quick way to unlock the messages in a dream is to consider the objects or characters in a dream and ask each one: “What’s your purpose?”
This question can be asked of any object in a dream: a rhinoceros, a bicycle, a loaf of bread, an elevator, or a cloud.
For example, I recently had a dream in which a coffee pot was prominently featured. I’m not much of a coffee drinker, nor do I own a coffee pot. So what was such an object doing in my dream? To find out, I asked myself, what is the purpose of a coffee pot?
A coffee pot is something I use (and borrow) only when company comes to visit. So, the coffee pot’s purpose is to help people feel warm and welcomed.
So, I took this dream as a reminder to bring more warmth and hospitality into my relationships. This was helpful advice to me at a time when my life’s pace was getting pretty frantic, and I was not making time to socialize with my friends.
What’s it all about?
There’s another way to think about purpose when it comes to dreams, as well. Our dreams can also help us reflect on what our deeper purpose is; what are we here on this planet to accomplish. (Hint: the answer is probably not to amass wealth or become famous, so keep digging.)
This question is trickier when applied to the complexities of a human life than it is for a utilitarian object like a coffee pot, but still, it is worth asking.
When I look at my life as if it were a dream it is difficult at first to find just one purpose. As the youngest child in my family, I often provided levity to balance out some of the ongoing tensions and anxieties around me. My parents liked to tell the story of how I once hopped onto the table and danced along to the songs on the jukebox at the Hot Dog House where we’d eat Friday night dinner, or how I donned silly hats and plastic sunglasses with little swans or birds at the corners while on family vacations in Florida when I was 6 or 7.
In my pre-teen and teen years, I was the family member who’d say what wasn’t being said. I challenged my parents’ view that our family was perfect and everything was “fine,” upending the status quo of valuing facades over feelings.
So, growing up I was the one to make people smile—or to startle startle them to wake up to what was really going on.
Now, as a teacher of poetry for teen mothers in a crime- and poverty-ridden inner city, and as a dreamworker and a writer, as well as the mother of a grown daughter, I sometimes feel at a loss to answer the question of my life’s purpose. I feel pulled in so many directions, it’s difficult to find the through line.
But looking back on what I’ve written here, I see that my early job description: To make people smile—and perhaps to startle them awake, too, isn’t so far off. These are the elements of waking up, after all aren’t they? And waking people up is the job of a teacher, writer, and dreamworker (not to mention a mother!).
Startling people awake and making them smile … come to think of it—that’s what a good cup of coffee does, too!
Your Turn: Look at your life as if it is a dream. Can you name your overall purpose—within your relationships, your work, and your spiritual life? Try to narrow it down to a few words or a short phrase: In this dream of my life, my purpose is _____________.
Still stumped? Contact Tzivia directly and she can guide you deeper through this process. Dreamer, therapist– she’s the best of both worlds. For private, confidential sessions, book online here.